PTSD & What About ME? (Video)

PTSD & What About Me?
7 Tips for Loved Ones of Those with PTSD is the stirring talk Welby O’Brien gave at a VA Caregiver Conference, which was so well-received that we were asked to make it available (and free) to EVERYONE who cares for a Warrior battling PTSD.

All those who love, live with or are close to someone battling PTSD will be deeply and profoundly impacted. As the wife of a veteran, Welby O’Brien shares 7 things that have been helping her on her journey in the world of PTSD.

Professionally filmed in an intimate setting, PTSD & What About Me? is designed to be viewed either by individuals or by groups. The first 90 seconds will give you a good feel for this heart-to-heart 35 minute presentation.

Brimming with information, insights and inspiration! Be prepared to laugh, cry and come away very encouraged.

Please download the accompanying outline/handout pdf:

PTSD & What About Me Handout

(Or see complete handout with questions below)


PTSD & What About ME? (Video)

PTSD & 3.

Of all the tremendous responses we have received, these sum it all up:

 “THANK YOU! You described me and my life and brought me to tears! I realized that I too am having triggers, compassion fatigue and SO much more. I also realized I need counseling, and I am going to try to take a PTSD class through our local VA. I realize now how much I am shutting down, while at the same time trying desperately to keep the wheels on the bus and keep everything from falling apart. I deeply love my warrior! Thank you again for sharing your video!” ~Hopeful Wife

“Those of us who have been in combat zones and under enemy fire are very hard to love, and as for me I want to say thank you for this really helpful video for those who care about me!” ~PTS Warrior

“This is one of the best things I have seen yet for Caregivers. Thank you!” ~ Honored To Be There for My Warrior



Outline and Reflection Questions

PTSD & What About Me?

7 Tips for Caregivers & Supporters

Welby O’Brien


It takes an exceptional person to love a Warrior,

especially a Warrior whose war will never cease.


  1. 1. _________________ the facts.


  • No going forward until we accept the PTSD and our “_______  _____________.”
  • The PTSD is here to ___________.
  • We cannot ___________ it/them.
  • There will be ________ days and _______ days; good moments and bad moments.
  • We will be deeply and profoundly _______________.  We too will see symptoms of PTSD and we will get triggered.
  • We will never get ________ we need or want from them.
  • We do not need them to ___________ be okay on order for us to be okay.
  • It is ___________ PTSD…it really is not me!
  • Accepting it does not mean we have to understand it or ____________ it.


  1. 2. _________________ resources and learn all you can about PTSD.


  1. 3. __________________ with others.


  1. 4. __________________ for your own triggers.


Don’t freeze. _____________slowly and deeply.

Don’t fight. ___________calmly, “I feel __,” and “I need__.”

Don’t run. _________about what my body needs now to make it feel safe.


  1. 5. ____________   _____________ of YOUR needs: physical, emotional and spiritual.


  • Accept your ___________________.
  • Nurture yourself via all 5 ______________.
  • Release the compulsion to ________ the world.
  • _______________ yourself with good support.
  • Get ________________ for YOU!
  • Replenish with ________________ input.
  • _____________well and _____________ well.
  • Process your ___________________ in a healthy way.
  • ____________________ regularly.
  • Stay current with ________________ visits.
  • Take ______________ for YOU.
  • Have healthy boundaries and be able to say ___________.
  • ____________________.


  1. 6. _______________ your unique individuality as you pursue your purpose.


  1. 7. ______________  ________________ to learning and growing.


  • Realize that growth and its benefits don’t happen _________________.
  • _______________ from others who are overcoming similar challenges.
  • Get good counseling and ____________ what you discover.
  • Keep our sense of  ______________ and be able to laugh at ourselves.
  • _____________ on our own issues.
  • Enjoy and ________________ the good moments.
  • Stay open to the discomfort of the _____________________.
  • Feel good about the ________________ we HAVE made.
  • Keep ___________________ on what is really important in the long run.
  • Remember that all our efforts will be _____________ it.


Questions for Reflection


  • ♥ What personal need do you have that you want to care for better, and what is one thing you can do this week to help meet that need?


  1.  ♥ Was there anything in particular that really hit home or touched you deeply today?    


  1.  ♥ What is your biggest ongoing frustration?


  1.  ♥ In what ways do you see the vicarious trauma manifested in yourself?


  1.  ♥ Who can you connect with for ongoing support and encouragement?

Poem: I Loved Someone with PTSD (On website)

For more information, support and resources:




Permission granted to copy this outline as long as you use the complete outline and questions, with the title, name and website. Thank you.  🙂




For veterans and other PTSD survivors who wish to view this video:

This is a heart to heart talk for those who are in a caregiver/support role, and may be misinterpreted or not relevant in some spots by those who are not caregivers/loved ones of PTSD survivors. If you do choose to view it, please watch the entire video to get the whole picture; and if you find some parts triggering or disturbing, I encourage you to have a conversation with your loved one about it. The contents of the talk are a composite of many people’s input, and not necessarily reflective of everyone. My hope is that ALL of us, caregivers and PTSD Warriors, will learn and grow and thrive in our journey together. ~Welby



Welby O’Brien is crazy about her Veteran husband, and together they face the daily challenges of PTSD. Holding a Master’s Degree in counseling from Portland State University and a teaching degree from Biola University, based on her own life journey she has authored the books LOVE OUR VETS: Restoring Hope for Families of Veterans with PTSDGood-bye for Now (grief support), and Formerly A Wife (divorce support). She is also a contributing author to Chicken Soup for the Soul: Divorce and Recovery, Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Spirit of America, as well as Shepherding Women in Pain. Welby has been welcomed as a guest speaker across the country, and on radio and television.  She initiated and continues to facilitate the spouse and family support network known as Love Our Vets – PTSD Family Support, LLC. (

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