Milwaukee, WI — Everybody talks about what PTSD does to the veteran. Almost nobody talks about what it does to the person lying next to him at 3am.

That’s the conversation Marcus Hart brought to this week’s episode of Transform U: Veteran Stories, sitting down with Welby O’Brien — wife of a combat veteran living with PTSD, a licensed counselor, and founder of Love Our Vets, a PTSD family support network that has grown to more than 50,000 people. O’Brien is the author of four books on trauma, grief, and faith, including Love Our Vets: Restoring Hope for Families of Veterans with PTSD and Hope for the Wobbly.

O’Brien didn’t set out to become an advocate. She became one out of necessity, after the man she was dating — now her husband — told her early on that he was living with PTSD. She decided she’d better do some learning, she told Hart. What she found was a community of spouses, parents, and children quietly carrying trauma they never signed up for, with almost nowhere to turn.

It takes an exceptional person to love a warrior, O’Brien said, especially a warrior whose war will never cease.

The conversation went places most PTSD coverage doesn’t — not just the veteran’s healing, but the caregiver’s. O’Brien walked through what she calls the “I can’ts” that loved ones wrestle with: I can’t always help the one I love. I can’t fix the world. And the “I cans” she offers back: I can love someone who needs me. I can ask the Lord for strength and grace. I can take care of me.

Hart, who has spoken publicly before about his own path through military service, faith, and rebuilding after hard seasons, met O’Brien halfway with his own story — a stretch in late 2023 when he and some of his kids faced a sudden period of homelessness after an urgent family situation. He refused to stop being resourceful, he said. He found the organizations, made the calls, and didn’t stop moving.

That thread — what it actually takes to keep moving when a family is under real strain — runs through the entire episode, alongside O’Brien’s central message: it is possible to have a loving, fulfilling relationship in spite of PTSD. It’s not easy, she said, but it’s worth it.

O’Brien pointed viewers toward LoveOurVets.org, where families can find the same support resources, a downloadable PTSD Basics guide, and information on both of her books — one geared toward loved ones and caregivers, the other a faith-forward companion for anyone carrying trauma, their own or someone else’s.

The full conversation is available now on The Transform U! Live Show on YouTube, with the episode also distributed this week on Spotify as part of the Transform U podcast feed. Learn more about Love Our Vets at LoveOurVets.org.

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Marcus Hart

Marcus Hart is the founder of the Transform U Media Network and editor of The Urban News Journal. Follow independent coverage at urbannewsjournal.com. Subscribe to The Warrior Mandate at warriormandate.substack.com.